Pen Pals 1D
by KBunny3
Summary: Through an internation e-mail pen pal project at their highschools, Delilah and Harry meet and click. Soon they become close friends despite the distance and the fact that they've never met in person. Will things change as Harry joins X-Factor and shoots
1. Creepy, E-mail stealing, old man

Dear stranger,

My mother always told me not to talk to strangers so this seems to be an extremely dangerous project. What if you're a creepy old man who intercepts e-mails from pen pal programs in high schools? Now, you're going to come and find me. I'll probably be dead by tomorrow. I need to hurry this letter up, so I can write my will.

Anyway, I'm only actually writing this because I don't like to get failing grades on easy assignments. Plus my language teacher is staring me down like a hawk so I can't listen to my i-pod. I might as well write to you.

And I'd just like to say something. Since when did pen pals work over E-mail? What's wrong with a good old fashioned paper letter?

Enough procrastinating on my side let me get down to the information that I'm supposed to put in this letter. I'm supposed to casually tell you all this information, but screw that. Here it goes:

Name: Delilah. I'm not supposed to give you my last name (even my school suspects that you're a creepy-e-mail-stealer-killer-man).

Interesting fact about my name: How was I supposed to casually put this in conversation? Are you serious? Who would know random facts about their name? The only 'fact' I have about my name is that it's a 'fact' that every person who meets me sings "Hey there Delilah" by Plain White Tees to me at least once. It's also a fact that _a lot_ of people suck at singing that song.

My teacher was just reading over my shoulder (invasion of privacy much?) and she said that those aren't good facts. I looked it up and apparently my name means 'to flirt' in Arabic. My parents decided I was going to be a tramp as a baby. That's real nice, Mom and Dad!

Age: Well, I'm sure you're curious about this one, creepy old man. I'm sixteen. I thought an older gentleman like you would appreciate manners, but apparently you have nothing against asking a lady her age.

Hobbies: I enjoy sky diving, house painting and roof golf. I'm just kidding. Did you believe me? If so, then you aren't very smart. My real 'hobbies' are drawing, writing, rock climbing, and reading. Hey, stop calling me a nerd, you old man! Books make you smarter! Smart enough to know that sending letters to strangers is _dangerous_.

Family life: We're getting deep here, huh? Will it be awkward to know my home life when you have plans to kill me, creepy old guy? If so, then you should stop reading now. I have a Mom and a Dad (everyone does!) and they're married to each other. I have an older brother who is an architect. He seems pretty schnazzy, huh? That's all I'm saying about my family, because it's none of your business.

Where I live: I'm supposed to be very vague (I told you. They know who you are, old e-mail stealer man.). I live on Earth. What? You want me to be more specific? Fine, if you insist. I also live on the continent of North America. That narrowed it down, huh? No, it didn't? Fine, I also live in the United States of America. Now I could only live in fifty states from there. You want to guess? No, you don't? Fine then I'll tell you the state, but no more! If you're going to kill me, creepy old man, then you need to put in some effort. I live in the unique state of New Jersey. Now, if you answer this letter, saying that 'you know New Jersey! You always watch Jersey Shore!', then I'm finding you, flying to your home and slapping you in the face. This goes for any other jersey show on the air.

I feel like you aren't contributing very much to this conversation. You're awfully shy aren't you? It's your turn now. I'm done with doing all the talking. Bye, Creepy-Old-Man-That-Steals-E-Mails!

Sincerely,

Delilah


	2. Harry Potter

Dear Delilah,

I'll just clear up some of your confusion and worry right now: I'm not an old man who steals e-mails. I promise you this. I am a guy though. I'm just not old. Actually, I'm only sixteen (like you!).

Now, notice above that I included various pieces of information in casual format. It's impressive, huh?

I think that we use e-mails instead of mail for the following reasons: 1) Our schools don't feel like spending money on stamps. 2) Our schools don't want to spend money on overseas shipping. 3) It takes less time to send.

I'm honored that you chose to write to me as a last resort because your i-pod was unavailable. That really does a lot to my self esteem. Thanks for that.

Since you said a big 'F you' to this assignment, I'll follow suit. Casual writing is too much work.

Name: I'm Harry. I, too, have been instructed not to give you a last name. To make up for the absence of my last name, I give you my middle name: Edward.

Fact about my name: *Scratches head* Uh… I have no idea. It's the main character's first name in the Harry Potter series. You probably already knew that though, what with it being the Harry Potter series. And I don't know what you're teacher was talking about. Those were amazing facts.

Age: I already told you, remember! It was all casual. Good times, huh?

Hobbies: No, I didn't believe your first set of hobbies. House painting and roof golf were odd, but somewhat believable. The sky diving was too 'over the edge' though. I like to read, too. Hence the Harry Potter references. Writing is okay, but not my favorite. I'm only doing this for you (and for a grade), feel honored. What do you write though? I'm not the best at drawing though. It's so… difficult. Do you really rock climb or are you taking a piss? If so, that's really cool.

My hobbies are reading (mentioned above), music and swimming. You might be like 'how is music a hobby?' Well I listen to it, perform it and, sometimes, write it. I didn't feel like writing it all out though. I ended up writing it out anyway though. Note to self: Laziness never pays off.

Family life: I agree that this is a rather 'none of your business' question, so I'm not answering it. I think it's cool that your brother is an architect though. Do you talk to him often or see him a lot? Does he live close?

Where I live: I live on Earth, too! We're practically neighbors. I live in the United Kingdom though. And I only saw the first season of Jersey Shore and then I got bored with it. I researched New Jersey though, because I wanted to appear well educated. I found out that you guys have a shore. You grow tomatoes and corn that is apparently really good. I wouldn't know though. There was also something about North and South Jersey. Are they two different states? There was a quiz to prove which one you were. How can you be a direction? And are you only one direction or can you be a few? I'm awfully confused. So much for appearing well educated.

I hope this makes up for my silence before and clears up the confusion on my age and the fact that I don't want to murder you. You have a bit of an over active imagination, huh?

Sincerely,

Your no-longer-a-stranger pen pal,

Harry


	3. Foot Kicking

AN: Hi! I wasn't going to upload this until tomorrow, but I decided to tonight because of all the positive feedback. I'm so glad you like it! And I'll also be uploading my 'I now pronounce you drunk and married' story. And I'll be adding another story, but a Louis one. So check them out if you want. This chapter is a bit short and I apologize for that. Enjoy!

Dear Harry,

Your reassurances fall on deaf ears. If anything, they only cause me to believe that you are an old man even more. After all, that's exactly what an e-mail stealing old man would say when confronted about his true identity.

And, yes, I do rock climb. It's pretty awesome. Be jealous. I'm a bit confused though. What is 'taking a piss'? Is that lingo? I hope so, because if not, then you are one odd guy.

South and North Jersey are both in New Jersey. It's just this thing in New Jersey that says that people have different personalities and habits depending on which part they are from. It's difficult to know which one you are just based off of where you live because there is no exact dividing line between the two. It's all rather silly in my opinion.

I write poems mostly. Not to sound like some loner who sits in starbucks, but its nice to express yourself in it. That's why I draw as well. Sometimes I write stories, but not as much.

Where do you perform music? That's kind of cool. I always wanted to be a singer or something, but, sadly, I lack any musical talent. Are you any good? What do you do? Sing? Guitar? Drum? All of the above?

Did you know that I had six toes? Alright, I'm just messing. I have five toes per foot. I just didn't have anything else to write. How many toes do you have though?

I'm having trouble writing this e-mail. People keep on distracting me. The girl on my right stops me every ten seconds to ask me how to spell something. The guy on my other side keeps on kicking my foot. Why? What is the point of that? I have no idea… I just told him to stop.

My teacher is looking over my shoulder again. Hi, Mrs. W, what's happening, girl? Oh now she's telling me to erase that. I told her 'no'. She left now. I don't think she likes me very much. What a shame.

I'm listening to my i-pod like a ninja. The ear phones are all hidden in my shirt and hair. I'm like a spy agent person. I have to be careful though because I might start typing the lyrics of the song instead of what I'm thinking.

Oh! I like this song. I'm controlling the urge to seat dance. It's "Dreaming with a Broken Heart" by John Mayer. Do you guys have him in the U.K.?

Damn. That kid started with the kicking again. What is wrong with him? I got to go. I'm about to fight. Just kidding, I'll probably just kick him back.

Sincerely,

Delilah


	4. Movies with Mum

Dear Delilah,

I'm still an old man, huh? I should've been expecting that.

I am extremely jealous of your rock climbing skills. 'Taking a piss' is like 'just kidding' or 'messing around'.

What are you: South or North Jersey? I think it's kind of interesting.

What do you draw? And I know what you mean about the expressing yourself. That's why I sing. It kind of calms me. What kind of stories do you write?

I perform with my band. We're called 'White Eskimo'. We won this competition a while ago. I'm actually going to try out for this television show in a couple weeks. It's called 'X-Factor'. I don't know if you've heard of it before. And I mostly sing.

I have ten toes in total. That's kind of a tongue twister. It's good to know how many toes you have. I was wondering, but didn't want to ask and be rude.

The guy is probably kicking your foot because he likes you. Us guys, we do stupid things to get the attention of a girl we like. Try talking to him instead of kicking him back.

You're a ninja? I am, too! That's so awesome. We should get together and do ninja things sometimes.

I love John Mayer. I like his 'Free Fallin'' song best. How about you?

I'm in my living room with my mum right now. I stayed home today because I'm sick so I'm messaging you from home. We're watching movies and eating soup. Are you jealous? You should be.

My mum says hi. She thinks the whole school project is really cool. She keeps going on and on about how she wishes they had this when she was in school.

Alright, so you know that it's the last week of this project, right? Then school's ending for the summer. So… do you want to maybe keep messaging as something that isn't a school project? Tell me what you think.

I got to go. We're starting a new movie. Message me back about the continuation of messaging. And try not to beat up too many kicking boys.

Sincerely,

Harry (who is not an old man)


	5. Smelly Delilah

Dear Harry,

You're sick? I guess you're still recovering from that hip replacement, huh? I'm just messing. Hope you feel better. Who else will give me advice on boys who kick me? That advice, by the way, was exceptionally good. I refrained from beating him up and talked to him and now we have a date. Thanks, old man.

The New Jersey thing is completely boring. It's a snooze fest, but since you're weird and care I'll entertain you. I'm neither South nor North Jersey. *Gasp* I'm Central Jersey, which is the third option that is pretty much just a mix of the two. Fascinating, I know. (Insert sarcasm here.)

I like to draw animals and trees. On my good days, I draw animals in trees. On my bad days, I draw trees in animals. Alright, I'm kidding about those last parts. I do draw animals and trees though. Sometimes I draw people, but not very often. Animals are better, because they don't get mad if the picture turns out ugly. And animals are adorable. Sometimes I draw like the ocean or the sun, but those are kind of boring after a while. I like to paint as well.

Most of my writing is poems. When I do write stories, I write fiction about random stuff. I normally get bored with it before I get far. That's why I like poems more. They're not as long and you can normally write them before the mood to write is gone.

We have an X-Factor here, but you're probably talking about the U.K. version. I never saw it before, but I assume it's a lot like this show that we have called "American Idol". I've seen a few American Idol shows and it's like a singing competition show with judges.

I can't pick my favorite John Mayer song! I love them all. I do like the "Free Fallin'" song though. At least now I know that your taste in music doesn't suck toads. What does 'suck toads' mean? I have no idea.

Tell your mom I said "Hi". I think it's funny how you say "Mum".

Yes, I am jealous of your movie marathon and the soup. I love soup. Actually, I love all food. It's a bit funny though. My mom stocks the fridge and I empty it by the next day. My friends say that I'm the skinny on the outside and fat on the inside. My mom says my stomach is like a black hole.

About the continuation of messaging each other, I'm going to have to say 'no' to that. You seem nice and all, but really? It was a stupid project to start with and we both know it. Let's just leave it as a fun experience in our memories.

I got you, didn't I? You thought I was serious, huh? Silly old man, of course, I want to keep on messaging. We both like John Mayer, have ten toes and are ninjas. We were obviously destined to be best friends.

Alright, I must be off to shower now. I'm awfully smelly and it's rather late. Thanks again for the advice on boys. You're the best creepy old man ever!

Sincerely,

The currently smelly Delilah


	6. Teasing Sisters and Duckie Rants

Dearest Delilah,

New rule: No more tricking Harry! And yes, I am talking in third person. You scared me! I thought that you seriously didn't want to talk to me ever again and I was a bit hurt to be honest.

Now I must apologize for how long it took me to respond back. I've been awfully busy being lazy. No, I'm just kidding. I actually have been busy practicing my song non-stop all week for X-Factor. I have just two more weeks to go!

So how was that date of yours, eh? I knew my advice was right. I am a boy after all and all of us boys work the same way. How'd it go though? Where'd he take you?

I assume that your American Idol is similar to our X-Factor by the sounds of it. For X-Factor, you audition in front of an audience and a set of judges. The judges vote and decide if you get sent to boot camp. Boot camp is just showing some more of your singing and dancing talents, you know? And then from there they vote again and narrow down the contestants. Then you go to the Judges' houses and they eliminate some more people. If you get through all of that, then you perform live on television every week and the audience and viewers call in and vote.

I'm pretty excited. I've been watching it ever since it started. I'm nervous though because one of the judges, Simon Cowell, can be rather mean. Some might even say scary. And yes, I am one of that some. Look up videos of him on Google. You'll see what I mean. I'm just a bit frightened that I'll go on and sing just to have him rip me apart.

Will you send me a picture sometime? I don't care what it is. It can be animals or trees or oceans or skies or animals in trees or trees in animal. I just want to see one. You don't have to though.

Have you ever been to the U.K before? I've never been to America. What's it like there? It seems so foreign. In my mind, it's like a fairytale place, you know? I feel like anything could be there because I've never been there to know for a fact that it isn't there. Does that make sense?

My sister, Gemma, just got here. She's older than me and she's off at Uni, but she's here to visit for the weekend. She keeps on teasing me, asking me who I'm messaging. I said "Your mum." But we have the same mum so the joke doesn't work quite as well.

And I do not say 'Mum' funny. You say it funny. It's 'Mum' with a "U", not "Mom". How do you even say it with the "O"? It feels so unnatural on my tongue when I say it.

Alright, I best be off now. Gemma keeps on saying "Wittle Hawwy's got a giwfwiend!" like the immature toddler she is deep down inside. So I'm off to go attack her with a pillow. It seems like the only mature thing to do in this type of scenario.

Your favorite old man,

Harry

Dearest of dears, Harry,

I'm glad to see that you have embraced the 'old man' role. You were fooling no one with your lying and pretending.

Thanks for mentioning your song and your X-Factor audition numerous times without telling me what song you'd actually be singing. Nice way to leave out the details, Harry! Two more weeks, you say? I'll have to search for your audition tape afterwards. Or have your mom (take notice of the 'o') record it and send it to me.

American Idol works more or less the same way as you described. The contestants audition and if they make it through they go to Hollywood week and if they make it through that then they go live. There are a few more components, but I don't feel like getting all precise over it. It's too much typing.

I love Simon Cowell! He's the best. He's hilarious, too. I get why it's nerve racking though. He can be rather harsh. At least you'll know that he's giving you his honest opinion and not sugar coating it though.

You said your band won that competition, right? You must have some talent if you won then. I've never heard you sing (obviously), but I figure if you sucked then you wouldn't have won that competition, right? Besides, if your friends and family have heard you sing and think you should try out then you must have some talent. If you stunk, they wouldn't let you go out and embarrass your self.

In the end though, the way I figure it is that you said you loved singing. If you really love it, then it's worth the risk.

I've got a picture as an attachment to this email. I drew it and then scanned it with my scanner (duh).

No, I've never been to the U.K., but I get what you mean. I feel like the U.K. is so… different. What's America like? Well, we're the home of fast food restaurants. Everyone disagrees on politics, religion and any other belief you can think of. And as soon as girls hit middle school, their skirts get higher and their shirts go lower, if you know what I mean.

Us Americans have a few things going for us though. You know… like freedom. I'm just messing with you (but not really because we do have freedom). I've kind of never liked it here. I just never felt at home here. I wonder if moving to another state would help or if I just don't blend well with all of America.

My feet are freezing! The rest of me feels hot, but its like someone's rubbing ice on my toes. I need my slippers. I can see them. They're sitting across the room. They're in the shape of bunnies with the floppy ears and everything. I'm trying to use the force to get them, but they just won't budge. Oh, screw it. I'll freeze. I'm too lazy to get up.

The date was alright, I guess. It was nothing to write home (or to my overseas pen pal) about. But since you asked, I'll give you a nice briefing of the evening:

7:00 pm- Foot-kicker (more commonly know as Bryan) picked me up from my house.

7:10 pm- We went to a pizzeria and had (you guessed it) pizza. The conversation was a bit dull, but he was really nice.

7:45 pm- We left the pizzeria.

8:00 pm- We arrived at the movie theater and got tickets (he paid for mine).

8:10 pm- We sat down in the theater with a thing of overpriced popcorn (I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hate popcorn) and a huge soda to share. Bryan made funny commentary trough the previews. The movie (Stolen) was good. Bryan made a few sly moves (such as the 'yawn move where he puts his arm over your shoulders' and then the 'oops my hand accidently fell right on top of yours I guess I'll just casually leave it there) but he kept it gentleman-y so I didn't complain.

10:00 ish- Bryan brought me home. He was very sweet. That was a week or so ago though since someone (you) took forever to e-mail me back. We double dated a few days ago with his friends. And he asked me to go to one of his young cousin's birthday party because he didn't want to be alone with all of his kid cousins.

I recently rewatched Pretty in Pink. And if you haven't seen it then stop reading this e-mail right now and go watch it. I'll give you a second.

Are you done yet? No? Oh, sorry.

How about now? Yeah? How'd you like it? Yeah, it's a pretty good movie. And my favorite part is obviously the lovely Duckie. But the whole movie bothers me because Andie chooses Blane (who is super annoying and dull and a douche who bailed on being her prom date because of his asshole friends' opinions) over Duckie (who is eccentric and unique and funny and was there for her even when she treats him like shit which is like 93% of the movie).

Alright my rant is over. I'm going to go get food.

Your Duckie loving pal,

Delilah


End file.
